Zombies, Werewolves, and Goblins – Oh My! A Guide to Movie Monster Self-defense

With Halloween approaching, most of us have been getting in the mood for spooky season by watching a scary movie or two. Even though we all know the monsters in these films are fictional (probably) it’s still fun to imagine how one might fight them off, or better yet, keep them away from you in the first place.

The worst part about movie monsters, besides that they’re trying to kill you, is you have to use a different method to slay each of them. Vampires require a wooden stake, werewolves a silver bullet, and don’t even get us started on those “unkillable” slasher villains. But the good news is, while it may not be easy, it is theoretically possible to destroy most of these creatures – or at least wound them long enough to escape.

In this article, we’ll cover some of the best weapons and precautions to use when defending yourself against a few of these classic movie monsters (and probably real-life monsters, too!).

Zombies

Ew… zombies! Killing the undead may seem like an impossible task, but, fortunately, there are a few ways to not only double-kill these nasty brain-eating creatures but also protect yourself from them in the first place.

Weapons

• A high-capacity shotgun or AR-15: And the bigger, the better. When it comes to zombies, we all know a well-placed headshot is the best way to stop them. Make sure you have plenty of firepower and backup ammo, because where there’s one, there’s at least a dozen more around the corner. A nice red-dot sight or laser might come in handy, too – it’s always better to take them out before they’re too close!
• Machete: Look. We all love our guns. And without one, your chances of surviving a zombie apocalypse drop dramatically. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a backup weapon. What if you run out of ammo? Or you don’t have time to reload? Machetes are a fantastic option when it comes to separating a zombie’s head from its body. Strap one to your back and learn how to swing it!

Self-Defense Tips

• Wear protective clothing: Zombies lead with their teeth, so bite-proof clothing is a must-have. Look for protective clothing with long sleeves and thick, durable material. Body armor is probably your best bet!
• Create a barricade: Because zombies often move as a hive and are attracted to noise and movement, it’s critical that you have a safe place to hide out. Find an empty building that can easily be fortified with secure doors and windows (or better yet, find a building with no windows at all). Once secured inside, stay quiet to avoid drawing attention, and keep your weapon nearby at all times.

Werewolves

Werewolves are a special brand of monster being that they only take shape at night, so you never know who might be walking among you keeping a big bad secret. Although these creatures are supernaturally fast and dangerous as hell, there are a few tried and true ways of dealing with them.

Weapons

• Silver bullets: Anyone who knows anything about werewolf folklore knows that a silver bullet is the only way to kill one. You can also technically use a silver blade, but those are pretty expensive. I’d recommend picking up a box or two of Winchester’s 9mm Silver Tip bullets. These hollow-point rounds are great for taking out werewolves and other bad guys without breaking the bank.
• Pistol or revolver: To go along with your silver bullets, you’ll need a nice 9mm sidepiece. Because werewolves are sneaky monsters that could be lurking around any corner, choose a pistol that you can conceal carry. A revolver is a classic choice for werewolf hunting, but if you prefer a semi-automatic, may we recommend something elegant, like a Colt 1911 Gold Cup? Pair this with a Vedder holster and a good RMR, and you’ll be ready for anything.

Self-defense Tips

• Carry wolfsbane or wormwood: Both of these herbs are thought to act as a werewolf repellent. Although it’s not foolproof, it could be a good idea to stuff a little bit of each into your pockets to avoid becoming werewolf chow.

• Don’t go out during a full moon: Werewolves turn during a full moon, so just stay inside on these nights with the doors locked to avoid any trouble. (But keep your silver bullets close, either way!)

Goblins

Goblins are nasty little creatures… they really are. Not only that, but more often than not, they’re incredibly mean and malicious. If you happen to be on the wrong side of a goblin’s good graces, good luck! They usually work in groups and are viciously dangerous when they want to be. Don’t go unprepared!

Weapons

• Iron blade: According to most legends, goblins are vulnerable to iron. So, the best weapon you can use against one is an iron blade, like a battle axe, dagger, or even a sword if you’re feeling extra valiant. Whatever you choose, make sure you know how to swing it so you can accurately knock their heads off one by one.
• Flashlight: Everyone knows goblins are creatures of the night. They thrive in darkness and are totally thrown off by a bright light. So, if you’re worried about these little suckers coming for you, keep a bright flashlight on you to disorient them while you escape or attack. A high-powered headlamp is even better, so your hands are free to fight.

Self-defense Tips

• Get a video surveillance system: Some say that a goblin can’t enter a home uninvited. So, if someone comes knocking on your door, a doorbell camera or something similar is a great way to tell if it’s a delivery man or an ugly little goblin. Even if this rumor isn’t true, a surveillance system can help you monitor where these stealthy little pests are so you can get rid of them. Win, win.
• Leave the jewelry at home: Goblins loooove shiny things and are notorious thieves. If you’re trying to avoid a run-in with goblins, it may be best to leave your more tempting jewels at home so as not to attract their attention.

Vampires

Sneaking around by night to feed on the blood of the living, vampires are by far one of the most terrifying monsters on this list. Perhaps the worst part is, once you’ve been bitten by one, you will die and become one of them. Fortunately, there are also more ways to protect yourself from these vile creatures than most of the others.

Weapons

• Wooden stake: Everyone has heard that a wooden stake is the best way to kill a vampire. And it’s true. Make sure you have one, or a few, sharp wooden stakes on your person at all times if you’re dealing with a vampire problem. The hardest part is getting close enough to put it through their heart – try hunting down the monster during the day when it’s asleep in its coffin.
• Crossbow and wooden arrows: Once again, the problem with a wooden stake is that you have to get terribly close to the vampire to use it. So, a crossbow and some wooden arrows are another fantastic option. This way, you can put that wooden arrow through its heart from far away where you’re not at risk.
• UV flashlight: It’s also a well-known fact that vampires cannot be exposed to sunlight. That’s great news during the day, but when they come out at night, sunbeams are hard to come by. But, a UV flashlight just might do the trick. There’s a distinct possibility a mere UV flashlight won’t be enough to actually kill the vampire, but it will definitely be enough to burn their skin and give you time to get away.

Self-defense Tips

• Garlic: Vampires are traditionally repelled by garlic. So, a great way to keep vampires away is to carry garlic cloves in your pockets or wear an infuser necklace with a few drops of garlic oil (this works great for repelling people, as well!).
• Carry holy symbols: Vampires hate religious symbols. In fact, they can’t even touch them without getting burned. Wearing a cross, carrying holy water, or even better, wearing a cross pendant that holds holy water, is a great way to stop a vampire long enough to escape.
• Don’t invite strangers inside: Like goblins, vampires cannot enter your home uninvited. So, a good rule of thumb is to never allow uninvited guests into your home at night. Even allowing a friend to enter could be risky if you have a vampire infestation on your hands, as you never know who has been turned.

Unkillable Slasher Villains

You know the ones. “Unkillable” slasher movie villains are one scary bunch. Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Ghostface, and Freddy Krueger are all iconic slasher villains, to name a few. These brutal killers are seemingly indestructible and love to torment their victims. Although each of them is unique, they’re all known for senseless killing and usually have a trademark weapon and style. And while they may seem unstoppable (and to be honest, some of them are), there are a few things you can do to protect yourself from becoming their next victim.

Weapons

• Pistol: Any type of gun is helpful against most slasher villains, even if it’s just to stop them briefly. That being said, it can be a bit difficult to carry around a 12-gauge shotgun or an AR-15 in every situation. I’d recommend carrying something reliable and user-friendly like a Sig Sauer P365. Pair it with your choice of Vedder holster and keep it on you at all times. You never know when one might pop around the corner!
• A sniper rifle with a scope: Even though a rifle isn’t the best choice in every situation, like going out of the house, it is a fantastic weapon to have at home and works well for picking off these evil villains before they get close enough to hurt you (we see you behind that hedge, Myers!). For this purpose, I’d suggest a high-powered rifle with a scope to ensure you hit them where it counts.

Self-defense Tips

• Stay together: Being alone is the quickest way to fall victim to a slasher villain. So, go in groups whenever possible. Create a buddy system and actually stick with it!
• Don’t investigate strange noises: Just don’t.
• Wear body armor: Many slasher villains use a blade or similar weapon to kill their victims. So, try to outsmart them by wearing slash-proof body armorto protect yourself if they get too close.

Summary

No matter what kind of monster is tormenting your town, there’s always something you can do to protect yourself in these situations. Whether you’re carrying garlic to ward off vampires or keeping silver bullets in your gun in case of werewolves, do what you have to do to survive these creepy creatures.

Although we’re playing around here, real-life self-defense is something we all need to take seriously. If you’re looking for a new IWB, OWB, or pocket carry holster for your everyday carry gun, head to our Holsters by Gun Model page for Kydex holsters that are custom-made for your weapon of choice.

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